House of N00bs
by Doctor Felton Broflovski
Summary: When Adam Garcia, Michael Cohen, and Avery Halliard get transferred from their American high school to a British boarding school, the must learn to cope with the new people that are there, as well as try to get them to stop ignoring them. Is that possible? Or are they hiding something form the American trio?


**Author's Notes: …My friend thinks this is seriously funny. If you don't, I understand. This is about a few of our male friends, and the humor revolves around inside jokes. To start off, let me tell you something. Our friend Michael looks EXACTLY like Fabian. Seriously, they are MIRROR IMAGES! Okay, so if you picture Fabian, but just a tad shorter, there's my friend. That's why there's going to be a lot of confusion within the Fanfiction. **

**Guide  
Miki- Me  
Mint- My BFF  
**

**I don't own HOA**

**Adam's POV~**

I stare out the window of the British taxi we're currently riding in, trying to drown out the familiar, action-packed music playing from a Tiffany blue DSi next to me.

"Ah, Michael! Can you shut that thing off? It's making me crazy!" I said, banging my head against the window.

"Hold on dude, I'm trying to beat this game!" He said. I look over at my dark-hared friend. He's sitting cross-legged on the seat next to me, tongue hanging out of his mouth and a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his head. I shake my head at my buddy; he's so weird.

"Man, you've beat Pokémon Black and White 10 times already!" I say with a groan, throwing my hands up in the air.

"Dude, you don't understand the epic-ness that is this game. It's so captivating, that no matter how many times you play it… it's just so amazing. Besides, why're you worrying about me? It's Avery we should be worried about! I mean, did we really need to stuff him in my suitcase?" He says, repeatedly mashing his finger against the 'A' button. My lip curls in disgust.

"Because, we didn't want to pay for an extra plane ticket for him. It's much to expensive. I mean, it was already and eight-hour flight here, and it a lot. My mom barely bought it for me!" I say, throwing my flippers in the air yet again. What? This hand movement is like, my soul choreography.

"Well, yeah, but we don't know exactly what he's doing in there, that weirdo." Michael argues.

"Ah, let him continue making awkward noises in the trunk!" I say with a dismissive wave of my hand. "We're almost to the place anyway!" Michael looks like he's about to object, but when that familiar music plays, signifying that he ran into a 'legendary Pokémon' starts, he quickly goes back to fumbling with the arrow pad and buttons.

"Oh, I wonder what this new boarding school is like. I've never been to a boarding school before…" I say, half expecting Michael to respond with some not-so-witty comeback, but when he doesn't, I carry on.

"Umm, I hear some really weird noises coming from back there… You think we should stop?" Michael says. Wow, for once he paused his game to look up at me. I shake my head in opposition, though.

"No, I think the taxi driver is getting pretty pissed with our constant stops to check and see if our 'deode and underwear are still packed tight'. He might charge us extra if we stop again. Besides! He's been in there for an hour and forty-five. He can survive for twenty more minutes! Right?" I say. Michael looks uneasy, but he goes back to the game nevertheless. Two minutes later Michael shouts something:

"I think I caught Mint on Pictochat! Oh… wait… oh, that's the ice cream shop nearby… Oh… oh… he keeps asking me where I want to pick up my order. What the heck dude? I didn't order anything! Stopppiiiit!" I hear loud zipper screech, and so Michael. I look at the taxi driver to see if he's listening but I hear him, but he's not. So it's safe to speak.

"I think he unzipped himself!" I say to Michael, and the guy just shrugs.

"Maybe he'll fall out of the trunk and we'll never see him again." Michael suggests. I suddenly slip into a daydream of an Avery free life. Michael and I are spinning in a field of flowers, Mint and Miki in puffy dress, jumping around and throwing flowers at us.

I suddenly snap out of my daydream to Michael and I holding hands and staring at each other. We pull away and wipe our hands against out shirts, sitting in edgy silence for the remaining fifteen minutes.

* * *

"We're here!" The buff motorist shouts, most likely more than happy to see us leave. I thank him, Michael throwing a buck or two in his face when we hop out to get our 'luggage'. The chauffeur opens the trunk from the car, waiting for any moment to drive away. I take out my South Park backpack then a guy, namely Avery, rolls on out onto the ground and stays there for a second or two, unmoving. He then scrambles up to his feet. I spot some looks out of the corner of my eye, making me embarrassed n campus.

"Sup, bros." Avery says, forming a weak peace sign with his hands.

"Avery-get in the suitcase!" I shout, flushing as some girls walk by us. "Michael, help me get him in!" I say. Michael grabs his arms, and I his legs, trying to ball him back into my suitcase, as he tries to resist. However, the power of two teens overpowers that of one, and we shove him in, in a very self-evident, incontrovertible, incontestable, patent, conspicuous, pronounced, palpable way. He fidgets, but I punch the bag (where I think his berries are), making him stiff. I haul out Avery's bags and the other three, Michael balancing the other half.

We step on the grass, n00b style, and everyone looks at our shifting luggage. Michael kicks the bag really hard, and it stops moving. But then:

"Sorry, I just farted Michael!" His 'magical luggage' shouts. Michael heaves the bag over his shoulder, slamming it down with such force that a wheel popped off.

"Oh, shit this was new!" Michael scowls, and the bag shouts, "I know how you feel!" I hang my head, as I am sad to be seen with these people I call my friends.

"Let's just get in the house already…" I mutter quietly to Michael, making a mad dash into the building, Michael trailing behind me and making sure that his bag hit every stair and wall he passed. When we enter, a black-haired woman wearing latex gloves greets us.

"Oh, Hello. You must be the new transfers from America. I'm Trudy, the housemother. Make yourself-!" 'Trudy' stopped and looked at Michael. "Do you happen to know Fabian Rutter, young man?" She asked him. My friend blinks.

"Uh, no… I don't…" He says warily.

"Oh, well, you look exactly like him!" Michael falters, but shakes his head and straightens himself up.

"Would you like for me to take your luggage upstairs?" Trudy asks.

"NO!" Michael and I shout, and Trudy flinches.

"I mean, we can take it upstairs by ourselves, thanks." Michael saves.

"Free trip upstairs?! I'm in!" The 'suitcase' yells. Luckily, Michael lip syncs to the sound.

"I mean, uh yeah… never mind." He says, starting to get antsy. He grabs three suitcases, and so do I. We head up the stairs, and go down the hall labeled 'Boy's Dorms'. Suddenly, a tanned boy jumps out of a corners and greets us with a smug expression.

"Fabian! Already scored a new kid? What's your name, redhead?" He asked, pointing a finger at me. Michael looks around for 'Fabian', and I say the first name that comes to mind.

"I'm Cleveland Brown." I said. "I have come from Virginia" I shout, improvising the whole time.

"Nice to greet you then, Cleveland. That name is strikingly familiar though… Must be Eddie I heard if from… Weird American, he is…" He says, turning down the hall and calling out:

"Hey, Jerome! There's Fabian with those weird transfers from America. They're weird, you gotta see them!"

Michael and I exchange glances and there's a long pause of silence.

"Well…. This is awkward." Avery says inside the suitcase. We ignore him and walk down the hallway the other guy just went down, and I soon realize they're the boys dorms.

"Kay, Mick. I believe this paper says you're with me in 5, Aves, you're in 6 with some guy named Fabian Rutter..." I say.

"Oh… that dude that that dude mentioned, dude?" Avery inquires, raising a bushy brown form inside the

"More than likely," wheeling the suitcase around in a circle, I headed in the direction of room 5.

Time for a new life.

* * *

**So, I know the ending really sucked. I was rushing to upload this. No OC's will be shipped with the main characters, I promise, becuase I absolutely HATE that. **


End file.
